“You suck!” vs. “You’re awesome!”
It can be a fine line.
Yes, both of these were comments made to me from 2 different clients. I got them from 2 back to back calls the other day.
The first gave me the most complimentary statements ever:
“Trevor, you’re a genius!”
And, “This has been one of the most valuable consultations I’ve ever gotten. It’s like you turned on a light for me, and I can finally see.”
The next call (not 30 minutes later), told me:
“Trevor this call was terrible!”
And, “I’ve gotten no value what-so-ever from it. I’ve had consultations over the years, but never in my entire life, have I talked to someone who gave me so little. This has been an absolute waste of my time. And now, I just feel like a big asshole.”
I actually, burst out with a bubbling laugh.
(And then I checked myself, and turned it into a cough.)
(FYI – I’ve waited a few days to post this… so the people I’m writing about don’t look IMMEDIATELY for me to comment about this on Facebook.)
But I thought it was hilarious.
The poor person that I’d just “pissed-off” was SO upset.
And they were CERTAINLY not helped or served.
I’d just spent the better part of an hour trying to understand them, and trying to help them, and they were so pissed…
But it was so sad.
You might think I’m afraid to say this, but I’m not.
They paid me for help.
And after almost an hour…
I still didn’t understand what the hell they were talking about.
And I tried to help.
It made me sad because I REALLY wanted to help them.
And, I KNEW I could.
But… apparently, I suck.
“Ah… Trevor, you’re a genius one minute, and a stupid prick the next. You have such a way with people.”
Apparently, I do.
Being “liked“ by everyone was never my thing.
In fact, I’ve found that some people are just not Trevor Fans.
(Sure, I call these “crazy” people… cause’ I just think I’m so cute…)
Let’s face it: You’re not going to make EVERYONE like you.
Jesus gave it a pretty good try.
But even he fell a little bit short.
I like the way my brother-from-another-mother put it: “Go where you’re celebrated. Not tolerated.” – Eric Thomas, aka ET The Hip Hop Preacher
Just because we “want” to help everyone doesn’t mean we were meant to.
And believe me, I get it.
Often times, I’ve been “that guy“.
In fact, one time, I paid a dude $10K to help me.
I’d promised him $50K more.
In about an hour, he fired me.
I wasn’t ready.
Oh, I was eager.
But, I wasn’t “ready“.
I got off that call feeling like a TOTAL douche bag.
And, as much as I thought the guy was a bit of a dick…
He wasn’t a liar.
He wasn’t incongruent.
He just wasn’t my mentor.
I needed someone who was ready to listen to my whining.
Well… I “wanted” someone like that.
Instead, he fired me.
Again, you might wonder, “why?”
Well… I wasn’t coachable.
I second guessed him.
I was a bit full of shit.
I wasn’t TRYING to be.
I just was.
I was confused.
I was scared.
I was… not ready.
EVEN THEN… I didn’t make the other dude WRONG.
Certainly, I felt like a dick.
Well, I’ve thought of him often.
And I have no “bad feelings” towards him.
In fact, I think he actually showed me something that seems a bit hard for most of us to swallow…
He showed me, love.
Love for me.
Love for himself.
Love for his time.
Love for his clients who WERE ready.
Sometimes you have to, “Guard the door of your business with a sword.” – Gulliver Giles
Sometimes you have to, protect yourself and your business, and honor yourself, and your integrity, and your word.
I’m not trying to get more people to love me.
In fact, I love people enough to tell them the truth.
I love myself, and my family and my clients enough to…
(at least I try to…)
Keep my word.
To do what’s right.
To say what I believe is right.
I care enough that’s it’s okay if someone doesn’t like me.
I heard a statement years ago: “You’re never truly successful, until someone you don’t know, doesn’t like you.” – Unknown
All I can do, is my best.
When I screw up, I apologize.
I rarely act with intent to hurt another person.
I’d say “never” but there are times…
…when Trevor get’s a little “fiesty”.
I don’t know brothers and sisters.
I’d just say, don’t take someone’s “compliments” or “criticisms” too seriously.
Both are probably a bit more about “them” than “you“.
I’m just on a Greatness Quest.
A journey to become my best.
I work on that every day.
I love the lovers.
And I love the haters.
We need both.
When I find a book that I “really” like, maybe I’ll re-read it 2-3 times… because I love it so much.
Well, I’ll often go look it up on Amazon to read its reviews.
EVERY time I’ve done this, I find that someone “HATES” it for the SAME reasons I “LOVE” it.
My FIRST review on my first book, High Paying Clients, was a 1-star review.
It was a gut punch.
I felt like a dick.
But, soon I had a couple of RAVE reviews.
Then another hater.
Then a lover.
All I can say is, “WHATEVER”.
Today, that book has about 90 reviews.
Most are positive.
Some not so much.
(I could HIDE from that truth. But that’d be a LIE.)
And F-U-C-K that.
One of my FAVORITES, was when I got a 5-star and 1-star review back-to-back, less than 24 hours apart from each other.
Wait a second…
(I’m going to go find it.)
This is GREAT… look at this:
1.0 out of 5 stars
“Don’t trust this book. All it is, is just witty banter. If I could give it zero stars, I would. All this book is, is witty banter. No information on how to turn prospects into leads, then opportunities, then clients. All it does is try relentlessly to get you to make an account looking at “book bonuses” that don’t even show anything. This Trevor guy, don’t trust him.”
1.0 out of 5 stars
“An unedited book, stream of consciousness regurgitation of basic customer service.”
1.0 out of 5 stars
“Hype without substance. This book is really just a sales piece for the author. He only makes two points. Make an offer and offer a guarantee. There, now you’ve gotten everything this book has to offer.”
1.0 out of 5 stars
“It’s just watered down dribble. This book is nearly the worst book I’ve ever read.”
Oh, this one is GREAT:
1.0 out of 5 stars
“Find another author. Don’t waste your time. Terrible book. I couldn’t even finish it. Too much slang, although it’s supposed to be a book for individuals seeking high-paying professionals. I didn’t see any type of information in the first three chapters or so that were of any use to me. Just a bunch of empty stories, second grade talk, and overall, just a very poor written book. I pre-ordered it and wish I didn’t. This man is a joke. At one point, he makes a “Hi mom!” comment in there, or something to that effect. That’s when I closed out of the book. This is my life and I need information on how to get a real client. I don’t need a joke, and that’s all this book was.”
You just can’t take yourself, or anyone else too seriously.
I have PLENTY of happy, “Trevor you (and or your book) had changed my life.”
I could throw all my BEST Hap-hap-happiest clients and fans comments at you.
But I don’t need to stroke my ego, or apologize, explain myself.
Hey, I’m open to the love.
The… “good“, the “great” and the “awesome“.
Well then, I’m open to the hate.
What’ll happen if I 10X my haters?
Nothing but success baby.
So bring it on!
(That said, I’m not REALLY a dick.)
I prefer to think of myself as a big, cute, loveable, playful teddy bear.
And it does break my heart a little bit, that I can’t help someone – whom I know I can help.
But, as they say, “Sometimes, it takes a village.”
That’s why I believe that EVERYONE’S MESSAGE MATTERS.
I believe that your message matters.
Maybe my non-fans need you.
God knows, you’re pretty awesome.
To get a copy of my very first book, High Paying Clients, click HERE.
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