THE POWER OF NO

EPISODE 84 of a Daily Dose of Greatness Quest with Trevor Crane

DAILY QUOTES

“Real freedom is saying NO without giving a reason.” – Amit Jalandry

DAILY QUESTION & SUMMARY

When do you say ​NO? ​When “should” you say ​NO? ​Learning to say NO, without making  any excuses or having to explain yourself is one of the most liberating feelings in the  world.  

What are you ADDICTED to? Something in your life or your business or your career or  your free time, or your diet?… What are you addicted to?

What is it that you need to say NO to?  

DAILY CHALLENGE

Pick something that you need to say NO to. I’m confident that you’re “tolerating”  something in your life. Take a stand. ​Say NO to something today. 

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TRANSCRIPT

It’s your boy Trevor Crane here. Welcome to another daily dose of greatness  quest. Today’s subject is ​THE POWER OF NO​.

Yesterday we talked about just saying yes but even more important, maybe than  then saying yes to things are the things we need to say no to.  

I know you’re going to love the show. 

(INTRO – AUDIO) 

Okay. So when I was 13 years old, I probably weighed about 110 pounds, dripping  wet. One of my things. I really love that the time was playing high school sports,  specifically football. Now if you know this, but when you’re about 5 foot five, and you  weigh about 100 pounds, you’re not the biggest guy on the football field.  

I think I was a sophomore at the time. And the we were facing our biggest rival in  our little local conference. I love playing football. My mommy had to told me for years  that she would never let me ride a motorcycle or play football because she didn’t want  me to kill myself on motorcycle or hurt my knees playing football. That was mom trying  to take care of me. And finally, she let me do it. When I had some step brothers that were  smaller than they are about the same size as me. And they were able to play football. So I  was allowed to.  

So anyway, I’m playing football. Now, I wasn’t he biggest guy on the team. I wasn’t  the fastest guy on the team. In fact, I barely made the team.  

But I wanted to play. 

So, I had to figure out how to actually “get in the game.”  

My solution? To learn all the plays of all the positions I could play.  

Because I wasn’t the fastest are the most coordinated. I tried to figure out all I had  to use my head, I had to try to be smarter and sneaky. And I wasn’t actually the smartest,  dude.  

So I had to figure out how to go ahead and weasel my way in to the on the football  field. And so what I did is I decided to learn all the place. A buddy of mine actually was the kicker. I like started, I was the guy that held the bowl. For the kicker, I brought  myself on all the special teams, I learned all of the plays like all the plays on offense, and  all the plays on defense. 
 
So at any rate, we’re playing our arch rival, I think it was called or was the  company was that the school name, I think that’s what it was. I can’t remember exactly.  And the the head running back got hurt and injured and take it off the field. Then the  second string running back got injured and taken off the field. And I was either third or  fourth string, I don’t remember.  

But what I do remember is that I knew all the place now it was like 123 injuries in  a row. And I’m fourth string. And remember the coach grabbed me by the shoulder pads.  And we were mostly a running team. So that meant that we didn’t have a quarterback  that really could throw that much we didn’t, we didn’t have receivers that were that  great catching, we didn’t have it. Like we just had a whole running we’re running offense  is that meant they had to hand the ball off to somebody else. Me and they put me out  there, I must have been the smallest kid on the team. Or at least I felt like it and I got my  handed to me.We were getting pummeled. I remember at one stage, they handed off the  ball to me, and I run it into this. This it felt like a forest of of redwoods that I ran into.  And I got tackled and it felt like by the entire other team. I got hit so hard in the leg, like  in the thigh that it knocked the wind out of me. And I found myself underneath this pile  of people just in tears. I couldn’t breathe because I was underneath this pile of people. It  was hugely Have you felt like a 10,000 pounds on my chest. I couldn’t read my leg hurts  so bad. I thought for sure. That has to take me on the game.  

And I wanted to quit. And I’m sure you’ve been in similar circumstances where  you’ve had enough you’ve reached your threshold and you wanted to quit. This is  actually supposed to be a podcast about how do you say about the difference between  saying yes and no. And that there are times that she had to say yes, to your hopes and  your dreams. And yes to your new story. And yes to you choosing to fight for what you  believe in. At this point, though, when I had to scream No. Two was No, I wasn’t going to  give up. See that entire team. I felt like it took me 10 minutes before I can catch your  breath. Under that pile, the do’s and I remember I tears are streaming down my face. I  couldn’t breathe. That first breath that I got when I got my wind back felt like it was just  nectar. I don’t know. It was it was an amazing scary feeling to have my life back. I thought I might die under that group. And I looked at my team and I realized that they  that I couldn’t quit. I couldn’t let them down. And instead of it being a voice of yours  inside of me, it was a voice of know that I wouldn’t give up and that it wasn’t about me.  But it was about the the people that I had around me that I couldn’t let them down.  Because there was nobody else to jump into the game and play my friends who are first,  second and third string had been taken out of the game. The rest of my friends and the  family that I had was on that field and the voice the one word that resonated in my head  was no.  

And here’s the thing. I have found that there are many times in our life that the  most powerful thing answer we can give someone is just a clear No, no, I will not work  for your company. No, I will not take you on as a client. No, I don’t want to be in this  relationship anymore. No, I’m not going to take your. No, I’m not going to accept what  the doctors prognosis is. No. to the to the rules. No to your doctor. No, I’m not gonna play  this game. No, I won’t know and I’ve become become very comfortable with the power of  no.  

My yesterday’s show was all about Yes. And somebody asked me nicely. I will say  yes, often times I will disguise a no with Yes. Because what I’m really saying. I like to say  yes. When somebody asked me for help, and they’re asking for something. Like I said, my  wife comes to me and my wife comes to me all the time and asks for my help and my  guidance for overnight guidance. It’s not exactly accurate. She asked for my help my  wife, God, bless her, loves to get the people around her to help her and server and she’s  phenomenal at it. And it’s a big wins for her. Because there was a time when she did not  have that pattern when she was trying to do everything herself down. That has  completely transformed and she will ask me for just about anything and everything. And  I had to learn how to look at my wife and with all the love in my heart saying, No, no, I’m  not going to do that. No, I’m not going to do that. Now. No, I’m not going to jump up and  do this. Now. I love my wife. And And honestly, I will try to find another way to serve my  wife because I’d like to, to to basically whipped so she asked me for something basically  screwed. So oftentimes, I find a way to say yes, but I’m not her. I will not be told I will not  go. I’m not wrapped around her finger. Like she can just control me. Like I’m a robot. I  can protect myself and what I want. And just because my wife wants something, or my  kids want something, or my employees want something, or my partners want something, or marketers want something or somebody wants my attention. I say no, I say no to TV. I  haven’t owned TV, like had TV running in my house for over a decade. Maybe close to 20  years. Least 15 that’s not exactly accurate. I just recently moved to a house in Florida.  And they they gave us a cable box that was hooked up to have TV we did. I think we  watched it once in like six months. And I finally got them to take it off. Because we didn’t  need it. It was just like they gave us cheaper internet to have it. And then my assistant  finally got us got rid of it. But I just want to be in integrity on the fact that I don’t watch  that. But I said no. I don’t want to talk and be distracted by the that I said. I’ll watch  Netflix. I’ll watch Hulu will watch movies. But for years, I’ve said no, no, I’m not going to  watch the news. No, I don’t want to see all your negative that you’re going to talk about.  Like, I don’t want to watch TV commercials. If you’ve ever been to a hotel and turned on  the TV. I think that this is almost going to be a thing of the past. Like who even watches  TV anymore in a hotel room, then maybe you do and I’m just wrong on this. But with our  laptops on our phones. And this instant TV that we basically have on the device we’re  carrying around in our pocket that you’re probably listening to this on right now. Like  why do we need the TV I don’t want to get distracted by all of the gobbledygook that they  frickin got there. But if you do sometimes I just will turn on the TV in the hotel room. So I  can watch the frickin commercials. Because I it’s like, I can’t surprise there. Even still  around like I saw Gary Vee do a talk recently and trying to big audience and he asked the  people in the room to stand up. How many people in the room watched Hulu or Netflix  or something else like that. And that was a primary source of media entertainment.  Instead of regular TV. The billions of dollars that are still being spent on TV commercials  is the time of the past. That is about to go south. Pretty soon. That’s not going to even be  because there’s nobody’s there and nobody’s watching. And we TiVo or I don’t even know  because I haven’t the whole TiVo thing I missed entirely because I wasn’t watching TV.  But people typically record their shows, I believe in the fast forward over the  commercials. But if you ever watched a commercial, it’s just in saying, I can’t believe that  is still out there. And it’s such frickin noise and I can’t stand it. I say no.

So here’s my question for you for the day. ​What is it that you need to say no to?  maybe no to maybe there’s a job you need to walk away from. Maybe there’s a  relationship you need to walk away from. For a long time, I was scared to hurt the people  that I was with. And sometimes I would stay in a relationship much longer than I should  oftentimes as a about it. And I made the women that I dated and break up with me, instead of me having the courage to then tell them the truth and just leave the  relationship.
  
What is it in your life and your business and your career and your diet? What are  you addicted to? That you need to say no to? Let’s talk about addictions and stuff on  another time. But what is it the power of no and I believe that you can get a significant  amount of power when you can say no, without making any excuses or having to explain  yourself.

There’s a really good quote here. I want to read it to you. “​Real freedom is saying  no without giving a reason​.” That’s from Amit Jalandry I think is his name.

And here’s the thing. There’s a power in saying yes. Yes. To your hopes? Yes. To  your dream. Yes. You’re going to make the leap. Yes. You’re going to start the new  company. Yes, you’re going to walk across the dance floor and trying to ask that girl or  the guy you know, to get to for a dance to take the risk. Yes. 

You know, a decade from now, two decades from now, you’re going to be more  scared of the things you don’t do, more regretful of the chances you didn’t take than the  things that you were you did leave the chances you wearing your life. Also, is it time for  you to stop wasting time time to stop lying yourself? Maybe it’s something to say no to a  story you’ve been telling yourself about limitations or about why you can’t do something  as my challenge for you today is to just pick something that you can definitively say no  to.  

Recently, I just took out all fictional stories that I listened to on audiobook now  I’ve been addicted, I’d realized to listening to audio books. And I love audio books. And  I’ve listened to some audio books right now. But their audio books now that are all  around me, building my marketing and my brand and becoming a better leader. Because  I decided like, I don’t mind reading a biography now. But I don’t want to be distracted by  science fiction or other things that I’ve been listening to. And I I love audible. I listened to  books all the time I do it when I’m working out and just realize that it’s a distraction. So  I’m saying no to it. And not necessarily forever. But for the next three months for the  next 90 days. Absolutely no distraction and sedation because in the past I was getting  bored with you know what i was anyway. Doesn’t matter what my story is. My question  for you is what are you going to say no to. 

That’s all I got for you. today. We are going to talk about something tomorrow  and it is the is the frickin abyss of maybe in wishy washy gray zone. It’s that void  between yes and no that really doesn’t exist but for some reason we will perpetuate it  and will accept it in our lives and I think it is time for you to should get rid of that. We  talked about the power of no and also the power of saying yes, I’m just saying yes.  

So that’s all I got for you today. Make sure you take make today magnificent. I  can’t wait to see you tomorrow. 

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