SHOW YOUR LOVE
EPISODE 30 of a Daily Dose of Greatness Quest with Trevor Crane
How do you SHOW the people you LOVE that you care?
“The best way to influence someone is to find out what already influences them.” – Trevor Crane
Discover how the people you care about most, FEEL loved and appreciated by you. What you can do EVERYDAY to SHOW the people you love that you LOVE them.
Find out what what makes them feel good.
Find out what makes them feel loved.
Then connect with them in THEIR love language. Not yours.
On today’s episode, I share my plans my daughter’s 11th birthday. It’s not WHAT I WANT to do for my daughters birthday. These plans have HARDLY ANYTHING to do with “I” want to do. But because I want to make her feel loved and cared about, I’m willing to do anything. No matter the cost. No matter the inconvenience.
THERE IS NO DOUBT… that SHOWING YOUR LOVE to the people that you care about most, will improve the quality of your life.
Not because you talk to them the way you would like to receive it, but because you discover and get creative about what has to happen to SHOW them how much you care, based on “their” feelings and patterns and rules.
Plus, I share how you can figure this out for yourself. HINT: You ASK and LISTEN.
HERE’S WHAT YOU SHOULD DO NEXT:
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Today I’m on my way to surprise my 11-year old daughter for her birthday.
My question for you is, how do you show the people that you love that you love them? The people that you care about most? I think you’re going to love today’s show.
(INTRO – AUDIO)
All right. Welcome back. Now, when I was a little kid and growing up in Phoenix, Arizona and my father was a horseshoer. We grew up and I was poor. We, our family was poor. At least this is my memory of the time when the utility company shut down the electric and when they shut off our water. And we had to carry buckets of water back and forth from a green, disgusting pool in our backyard just to do the dishes and flush the toilet.
Like I grew up in scarcity. I grew up not having enough. I grew up with fights, about arguments about money. And as I became a, when I was a little kid even, and I thought about having my own family.
Growing up, you know, when you’re a little kid, you always want to grow up, can’t wait till I’m an adult. I knew that I wanted to be rich. I had found out years, generations before my direct family out there had been moneyed at some stage. Someone, a great, great, great grandparent had made a bunch of money and apparently everybody had been passed away.
And so now I’m the father. My daughter’s turning 11 today and I’m on my way to surprise her at school, at her grade school. She’s in the fifth grade and they apparently let family and friends come for lunch if you want to go have lunch with your kid. And I’ve never done it before. Today, I’m on my way.
So talking to you in the car, and it made me realize how many things I do to show my daughter that I love her, to show the people that I care about most, my friends, my family, my clients. That I’m constantly thinking about ways that I can go ahead and make sure they know how much I appreciate them. And so, that’s I guess a core challenge for you as I’m talking to you today about this trip for an 11 year old. Like why do you care? And I’m going to tell you what my real birthday present is for my daughter. It’s not just me jumping in to have lunch with her. So, but I think it’s really important.
And I was doing, I was having a conversation with a client yesterday. We were talking about how he can do better marketing and increases sales and make more money and build the mission for his business, whatever that is. And it’s created around the foundational question about how he can add more value to the people around him.
And I was actually sharing with him a strategy that you can use when you’re having a client conversation. That the best way to influence someone is to find out what already influences them. And then most of my coaching, consulting around this subject is to just, instead of trying to go there and tell people how cool you are and how cool all your stuff is, that you asked questions like more, like a doctor. And you do a diagnostic conversation with your potential prospect and client. And you find out what they want and what problems they have. Like you find out what is influencing them instead of telling them that your thing is cool, your thing is big, your thing is blue, your thing is cheaper, your thing is better. Find out what they want and why.
And then the same thing when it comes to communicating in somebody’s love language. So there’s a great book called “The Five Love Languages” that I think you should totally check out. You might have already heard of it, but it shares with you the concept that people are different. And just be, the way that you feel love and connection and rapport with somebody isn’t the same way that your spouse or significant other does. And it’s not the same way as your clients. And it’s not the same way as your kids.
So this is now time for me to brag a little bit here about the ridiculous things we’re doing for my daughter for her 11th birthday, because we’re spoiling her frickin rotten. And I’m trying to do the best I can to just not spoil her rotten. To make sure that she appreciates everything that she gets.
But I approached the “How do we create an amazing birthday for her?” around the same concept that I do when it’s not about what I think would be neat or cool. I have to go ahead and try to meet her where she’s at. I know what she’s into right now. So for example, I think she’s been wanting me to come to her school and join her lunch. And she doesn’t know I’m showing up today. So this is a surprise. I think she’s going to like it. She’s been asking me for it and now she’s getting it.
It is not convenient or necessarily that cool for me. Like I have other things I should be or could be. No, that’s not accurate. That I could be doing right now, not necessarily what I should be doing. Now another thing we decided to do for my daughter for her birthday is, this girl is obsessed with the soundtrack from Hamilton. So she gets on YouTube, she watches their videos all the time. She makes us listen to them all the time when we’re in the car. She’s always wanted to play it on the phone and on the computer. And I mean, it is like she is obsessed.
Now I personally am not that into the soundtrack and on the Broadway show week. She’s never, my daughter’s never seen it. Just one of her girlfriends shared it with her. And so we decided that what we were going to do is, this would be a really nice birthday present for my daughter. I’ll have you know this not, but Hamilton tickets are expensive. There’s like, no doubt they’re expensive and we live in Florida. We lived in New York, New Jersey for a long time, but we moved out there. And now, we are just looking at getting Hamilton tickets. It’s going to cost us nearly two grand just to get plane tickets. It’s just the tickets to the show because we’re going to go in Broadway. We’re going to go to New York and my daughter actually doesn’t, she doesn’t know that she’s getting it. That we’re getting this ticket. She doesn’t even think that, that’s something that is even approachable. She knows how expensive the tickets are, but we’re doing it anyway.
And see when I was a little kid, I dreamed about traveling. I dreamed about having the abundance, that I can go buy things that I wanted to buy and do things that I wanted to do. Like my friends would go on ski trips. All my rich kid friends, they go, their parents would buy them new clothes. Their parents would take them on vacations to Disneyland and go parasailing and all that. I never got to do that but I knew that when I grew up, I wanted to be able to take my kids with me around the world. I wanted to give them experiences that I never had.
And I could not be more grateful that we now have a chance to do that. And I think it’s completely absurd, like ridiculous. You don’t need to spend that kind of money on your kid. I’m just saying that today, maybe just taking the time to show my daughter that I care about her is probably enough. But because I have the ability to, we’re going to go to see Hamilton. And we just bought these tickets. It’s almost two grand to go me my daughter and my wife.
And not only that, we decided that when we moved away from New York and New Jersey last year, it was really, it threw my daughter up. She’s 10 years old. She’s leaving her best friend and friends. And it was really this big thing for her. And so I knew that’s one of the things I wanted to give her. She doesn’t know about this present that we are going to take her to New York. We just bought tickets to take her there for her birthday. We’ll be right on her birthday but right around it. And we’re going to let my daughter hang out with one of her girlfriends. And we’re going to stay with them for the weekend.
And so, I’m doing this. And my wife and I are completely inconveniencing ourselves. It’s not like we need to go do this thing, but because I know what is going to make my daughter feel loved and cared about and make a special memory with my daughter, I’m willing to do it.
And not only that, but I’m just looking at renting this like luxury RV that you can get. And we’re going to rent this thing so we can drive around and have it. And then like it’s just multi-million dollar like RV that you can rent. And it’s not bad, it’s like a couple hundred bucks a day or something like that. So I’m pretty excited about this trip.
And so here’s my challenge for you is to ask the question of what needs to have. How can you best share with the people that you know, love and care about, that you know, love and care about them? Like to ask questions of what you can do every single day. I talked to my wife about and I asked her questions about what makes her feel loved. And I’m constantly remembering that the people on my team need to see, feel and hear my appreciation for them. And so for example I will share this with you. I couldn’t be more grateful that I have your ear right now and that you are giving me your most precious gift which is your time to plug in with me each day on our mentoring show.
And so if you’d like to share this with somebody else who might appreciate our time together might appreciate the show, then please do. But more importantly, I would love for you to take action with what I’m giving you each day and for today.
This action can go and help you improve the quality of your life by SHOWING the people that you care about most, how much you care about them and love them. Not because you talk to them the way you would like to receive it, but because you discover and get creative about fun things that you can do to SHOW them how much you appreciate them based on their pattern and communication.
OK, just to influence someone, the best way to figure that out is to find out what already influences them. And share with someone that you care about them. Same thing, find out what what they care about most that will make them feel loved.
Have a great day.
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